Poop gives way to political ruminations…

It’s a beautiful clear evening here in Minnesota.  Tonight I was making rare us of my Sky Scout, which is among only a handful of technological achievements worthy of lasting note.  The factoid I brought away from tonight’s session was that Vega is only 25 light years, or 250 trillion kilometers, from earth.  That really doesn’t seem that far at my age.  Waiting is no longer a sensation I am familiar with.  I think I could probably hold my breath for the duration of time between now and when my 2 year old graduates from high school.  Time is a really sad thing for me to talk about, so I’ll move on.

Earlier in the evening I was walking my dog, as is my practice.  As usual, he gets to a point in the journey where he begins to run in little circles, indicating that he is about to assume a poop hunch – at which point he labors through a payload delivery on a neighbor’s yard.  I’m usually carrying something to drink on these walks, so when he gets down to business, impeccable neighbor that I am, I put my drink down on the sidewalk and begin to prepare the plastic bag in my pocket for poop collection.  Lately the dog has taken to meandering over to my drink and sampling it with a single surgical thrust of his tongue while I dutifully collect the fruits of his labor.  I truly hate it when I catch him doing this, but hate even more the idea that I might not catch him every time.

Tonight as Jesse’s bomblets softy impacted the wet grass of Pat’s lawn, politics, naturally enough, came to mind.  What are we doing voting for these people?  Witness how they act progressively more childish and vindictive as the hour of truth approaches.  Consider the fact that the number of criminals in congress far exceeds the percentage of criminals in the population at large.   I contend that it is NOT possible for a genuinely honest person driven by a passion for doing whatever is best for the country to become elected to any public office of import.  I further maintain that since campaign ads, such as as they are, seem to be effective, that our country is not suited for democracy.  Would we give a class of eighth graders the option of controlling their own destiny?  If we respond to campaign ads or are otherwise inspired by, for instance,  the scripted drivel generated for political conventions… are we not in need of some higher power’s care?  How about  a benevolent dictator – determined, perhaps, by a national round robin ping pong tournament?  Or maybe the tallest or shortest citizen?  Or he or she that can hoist a loogie the furthest?  Selection processes such as these seem to hold so much greater promise than what we have to work with these days – where talking heads with souls long since sold to the devil prevail.

Keep it simple.  Vote for someone that you’ve never heard of.  Odds are they’re lagging behind in the polls – if we are to take this as evidence that they are inept politicians, then they are statistically more likely to be at least felony free, which constitutes a rare plus in an ocean of minuses.