Ouch. OUCH.

Today I fell down.  Is this a big deal?  Not if you’re 22, but as a 51 year old?  Well, I didn’t break my hip, but it was uncomfortable enough for me to cast a jaundiced eye on my future over the next 20 years or so.    It won’t be pretty.  There may be those among you that view this as natural selection at work, i.e., gotta rid the gene pool of folks ignorant enough to have little teeny babies after the age of 50.  Indeed, it was the handywork of one such teeny weeny that brought the big man down.  Allow me to dredge you through the details.

I’d fallen asleep with the 3 month old on my chest.  When my wife finally extracted her from me so as to free me up for more lucrative productivity, I felt compelled to arise and attempt to navigate the mine field that is our toy strewn “living” room floor.  Bingo, I step on this feller…

 

Duck

Duck

Meet “Duck” – one of the characters from the Thomas the Tank Engine series.   He’s a friendly enough little guy until you roll your ankle  on him.  Mind you, he might be small, but he’s not a chunk of plastic – he’s a chunk of solid wood that brings the laws of physics to bear on his own behalf in a way that amounts to very bad joo joo for a unobservant or uncoordinated lumbering adult.

Down, down I came.  I can’t say my life flashed before my eyes, but I was aware that I was descending at an uncontrolled rate onto a surface festooned with like sturdy, pointy things.  The first priority, of course, was to pucker – which I barely managed.  Sadly, my arse wasn’t the target of the little tyke that was to ruin my day in short order.  Let me introduce him:

 

Chicco Car

Chicco Car

Meet our little Chicco car.  He might be plastic, but he’s a pretty solid little chunk of equipment nonetheless.  Note that the roof of the car comes off and functions as a remote control.  Based on the simplicity of the remote, the thing is designed to be used by really tiny humans.  And accordingly, it is built to withstand the rigors imposed on it by tiny, unformed minds looking to create the biggest crash possible.  So like I said, the thing is solid.  Our car happened to be as depicted here – no roof in place, and the windshield made for a VERY nasty impact point for the heel of my right hand.  I ordinarily would have thrown the thing through the drywall, but I don’t think it would have suffered in the least.

So there I sat – twisted ankle, hobbled hand – and wondering what the outcome might have been had I been carrying our sleeping three month old at the time.  Boy, that’s scary… but not scary enough to keep us from allowing this room to degenerate to the exact same condition by this time next week (or sooner.)

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