Didn’t need to see that…

We rolled in with all the troops to Target today with the intention of picking up a few quick items and returning a few things.  My wife took a detour into the little Starbucks outlet to aquire fuel while I went to customer service to return some breast pumping equipment.  In case you’ve never checked out breast pumping apparatus (the first time I ever saw a breast pump was when I bought a hand pump for one of my friends on his 13th birthday) it’s positively medieval looking stuff, save for the fact that it’s made out of plastic.  At any rate, I plopped the equipment on the desk at customer service and declared that it didn’t work.  The woman asked me what I meant, and I said I couldn’t get it to produce any milk, so it must be broken.  She didn’t see any humor in what I was saying, but I did, so I thought I’d subject you, the reader, to it here.

1.5 hours and two shopping carts later we rolled out of Target.  We were there long enough for my wife to use the bathroom twice.  In my book, that means we were there too long.  I doubt if Yuri Gagarin even used the toilet once when he accomplished the first manned space flight.

Our 2.5 year old daughter was disappointed because we wouldn’t buy her Thomas the Tank Engine underwear.  I tried to explain to her the problem I had with her proposal:  1) she’s not potty trained and 2) Thomas underwear is only made for little boys.  She saw no merit in either point, but her reaction never amounted to more than an occasional pout, so we were good to go on that score.

What wasn’t so good was what I saw on our way home from Target: a large crow flying with a baby bird in it’s mouth, and two smaller birds (presumeably the parents) flying frantically in circles around the Crow’s head.  I’m really sensitive about stuff like this, more so than ever now that we have kids.  Some examples:

In the days when I was a B-52 crew member, I was generally more concerned with a fly that was trapped in a sandwich baggie in my flight lunch than I was with the millions of human beings I was armed and trained to put to a terrible death should someone in leadership find value in launching WWIII.

 I used to shoot other kids with my BB gun when I happened upon them trying to shoot birds.

So, I always have been a little wierd in this regard.  But the bird thing killed me.  So help me, I would have raised by BB gun to that Crow had it been withing reach.  God forgive me.



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