At last I am compelled to write. 18 days ago my wife had surgery – a hernia repair with an “abdominoplasty incision.” That translates to stitches traversing the bottom of her abdomen from hip to hip. And for the first few weeks she had a couple of nifty surgical drains that needed to be drained, measured, and otherwise cared for several times a day. She’s still not to the point where she can lift anything over 10 pounds or sleep in a normal bed. So basically what I am doing is caring for 3 children on my own, one of which tends to be exceptionally well behaved, but largely immobile.
Everyone’s been a trooper, and I, remarkably, have until today stayed healthy. I say this because the 21 month old is suffering from a cold and waking up at 2:30 am, almost on the dot, just about every night. She will cry herself ragged until I take her in to bed with me. If I’m really lucky, she just crashes and all I have to worry about is waking up with a start about every 3 minutes worrying about her rolling off the bed. If I’m not lucky, she’ll be frisky and will take pleasure in dissecting my face with her little razor fingernails, trying to put her fingers as deeply down my throat or under my eyelids as possible. In either case I am a zombie the next day when I pack everyone up for various activities – mostly school/pre-k oriented things. But once the kids are in class/sibling care and the parents meet, I am among fellow zombies – some in significantly deeper than myself.
The things coming out of these kid’s mouths is amazing – although maybe only to other parents. Check out the conversation with our four year old that I had today:
Child: “Daddy, are you really, really, really strong?”
Me: “Oh, strong enough I guess. What would I have to pick up to be really, really, really strong?”
Child (without hesitation): “A piano.”
Meanwhile the 21 month has her finger jammed up her nose and exclaims joyously: “I got it!”
Really there are so many worthwhile quotes that I don’t know where to start. But I definitely feel the need to record them somewhere, so I guess this blog is as good a place as any. Here are a few more… I’m too lazy for any transitional language.
“Do trees sleep?”
“When the world started, were we all babies?”
“You’re the only daddy that doesn’t know everything!”
“Do mashed potatoes turn into ice cream?”
“Does chocolate milk come from brown cows?”
“Be sure to talk to your doctor before having sex.”
Okay, okay, I’ll wrap this up. Although the house looks very much like we went through an earthquake, the wheels of the family processes are still turning. I’m frazzled to the point of silliness – and although I look forward to a projected 2 hour opportunity without kids days in advance, when the time comes all I really want to do is sit and drool. And I think I might be growing soccer mom breasts.